


April Fools at the DPD

by BKt800



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: April Fools, Connor is a little shit, Crack, Fluff, Funny, Gavin Reed is an asshole, Humour, Ihavenoideawhatimdoing, Pranks, Sumo is a good boy, Swearing, connorisahappydroid, grumpy Hank
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 12:10:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21299255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BKt800/pseuds/BKt800
Summary: Months after the revolution, Connor still has a lot of things to learn. One of those things is learning how to outsmart a group of trained detectives during a certain time of the year; April Fools. Who will become victorious or who will become a loser during the DPD’s annual prank war?(what am I doing ghhhhhhhhh)
Relationships: Connor and Hank - Relationship, Connor and Tina Chen, Upgraded Connor and Hank, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	1. How it all started

It all started one sunny afternoon when Connor was walking to the dog park with Sumo at his side. The large St. Bernard was attempting to drag the android toward their destination as if he already knew where they were they were going. Connor wore a pair of shorts with a plain white t-shirt and black sneakers in favor of his android uniform. Hank insisted he wear ‘normal’ clothes since his uniform made him look like ‘a prick with a stick up his ass’ whatever that meant.

“It is a nice day today, Sumo.” 

Connor’s voice broke the silence as he spoke to the dog. 

“Perhaps I could get the Lieutenant to join us on a walk someday, He needs to get out of the house more often.” The android spoke as they finally reached their destination. 

The happy dog barked at Connor as if he agreed with the android. Connor unclipped the leash from Sumo’s collar and watched the dog make a mad dash toward a small group of dogs.

“Good boy.” Connor smiled 

He likes dogs. It was one of the first things he discovered about himself since deviating and becoming a free person. He enjoyed walking Sumo, frequent trips to the dog park and meeting other dogs, sometimes he got to pet them if their owners weren’t against androids. Perhaps he could remove his L.E.D? No, he’s an android and he always will be, some humans are more accepting than others. Like Hank, Officer Chen, and Officer Miller. He enjoyed his work at the Detroit Police Department, even though androids can’t get paid yet. But it is one of the only things he could not live without. solving crimes and taking down bad guys is literally what he was made for.

His thoughts were cut short when a flying object came at him full force, hitting him right in the face!

“Damn it! I’m so sorry! Are you ok?” A familiar voice cried.

“Good afternoon, Officer Chen.” Connor picked up the object, that happened to be a frisbee, off the ground and handed it back to the owner. 

“Oh, hi Connor, I didn’t even see you there!”  
Officer Chen laughed.

“It’s alright.” The android smiled.

A bulky, and slightly overweight pitbull came running towards the two. Tina had to physically restrain the overly excited dog by the collar to keep it from knocking the android down on his ass.

“I wasn’t aware that you had a dog, Tina.” Connor joked 

“He’s not really mine, it’s my boyfriends dog. Otis is just very excited to meet you!” She laughed as she gave the affectionate dog a few head pats before throwing the frisbee in the opposite direction. Watching the dog go ballistic over a flying frisbee made Connor let out a small laugh before calling out to Sumo, as they were about to start heading home.

“Hey, you know it’s April Fools, right?.” Tina grinned mischievously.

“Yes, I am aware.”

“There are some people I’d like to get back at from last year and I want you to help me.” 

“Are you saying that you want me to help you wreak havoc across the entire precinct for April Fools because I am an over the top, advanced prototype android and that you can use me to your advantage?” 

“Yes, that’s exactly what I want.” 

“It wouldn’t hurt to try. Okay Officer Chen, I’ll do it.” Connor grinned 

And this is how it all started...


	2. Double Kill

The next morning Connor woke up, it was like any other morning...

Except his hair was pink.

Hank managed to convince Connor to take a shower the night before since he went to the dog park and that he was ‘too damn filthy to be sitting on the couch, take a fucking shower!’

But the Lieutenant got the best of him and mixed pink hair dye with his shampoo while he was absent.

He never had any plans to prank the Lieutenant, but after that stunt he’s going to have to get creative if he wants to get back at Hank. 

___________________________________

Connor started doing little things like turning the television off whenever Hank was trying to watch the game, turning his laundry inside out, and hiding his alcohol in different places every time Hank took a sip of his beer. 

Hank would spray Connor with the garden hose in the back yard while playing with Sumo, laughing while the poor Android was trying to get away and hide behind a tree. Putting sticky notes on his back with cartoon dicks or little messages like ‘poke me!’ and things like that while at work. Or shooting elastic bands at his forehead. 

In return, Connor hid Hanks precious shirts somewhere, which were quite hideous and a little sore on the eyes. Hank learned pretty quick that he should never underestimate an android. 

___________________________________

“Oi! Connor!” Tina spoke loudly when whey were in the break room one cloudy morning.

“Hello Officer Chen.”

Tina suddenly pulled out a can of... something, he wasn’t sure what it was.

“Let’s prank the Lieutenant!” Tina giggled like a damn schoolgirl.

Connor paused “...Are you sure?”

“Hell yeah! Just walk up to em’ and put it on his desk” She exclaimed dramatically.

“Can you tell me what’s inside...?”

“Nope!”

She just slammed the mysterious can on the table and walked towards Detective Reed’s desk with a bounce in her step.

It wouldn’t be that hard, right?

___________________________________

Lieutenant Anderson was currently questioning a suspect in the interrogation room so Connor just placed the can on Hank’s desk and took a seat next to his monitor. 

Connor was flipping his coin between his fingers when Hank came back from the interrogation room.

“Did you get to suspect to say anything?” Connor asked without seeming too suspicious.

“Nope, little fucker refuses to say a damn thing to me. Ben said he’d take over.” 

Hank took a seat in his chair and that’s when he noticed the can on the desk.

He stared at it for a moment before asking.

“What’s that?” 

“What’s what?” The android replied.

“This...thing.”

“I-I think that’s always been there, Lieutenant.”

Hank made a move to pick it up, before he could even lay a finger on it the can exploded and tons of confetti and glitter came out of the can and all over Hank’s desk, as well as Connor and Hank. They were now covered from head to toe in pink glitter and confetti. Lovely.

“What the fuck is all of this!!!??” Hank barked.

Connor just stood there in shock.

That’s when Tina started cackling like a damn maniac while shoving her phone in Connor’s face.

“OOOH my GOD! I can’t believe you FELL for that.”  
She laughed.

“...ok. Thanks Tina.” Connor awkwardly smiled, trying not to break down and hide under the desk from embarrassment.

Connor learned that day to never trust Tina again.


End file.
